is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
