Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
