It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
