between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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