Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
