This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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