Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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