Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
