singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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