dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
