thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize