the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize