Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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