u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
