It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
