It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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