No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
