what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
