I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I want to be your penis for a week.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
