first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
