Kiss
Puke
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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