he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
