He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
