dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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