everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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