is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
