I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
