You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he shaved USA in his pubs
Life is so much better after having sex.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
