We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
