the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
