You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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