Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
