Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
