it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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