NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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