I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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