Have you finally orgasmed yet?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
