I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
FUCK WHALES
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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