You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
