You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
