I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she smelled like a LAN party
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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