Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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