ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
