Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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