He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
