he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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