It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
