u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
