you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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