Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
