Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
