He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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