We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
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I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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