'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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