he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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