Your tits are I can't wait for
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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