I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
