I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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