Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Randomize
