What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
