Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
