Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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