Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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