Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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