He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
