I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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