erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
barbara walters just said penis...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
